I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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