Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
