He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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