omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
