used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
