I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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