Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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