this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
