Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
