when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
3 2 1 whiskey
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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