My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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