Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
