it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
