vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
