he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
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i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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