i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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