im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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