It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
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HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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