Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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