Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
