Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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