you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
