I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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