thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
