The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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