where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just invented taco cereal.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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