I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
