My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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