Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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