"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
