I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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