Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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