walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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