my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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