I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
