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• (310): View more from California

  Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.

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• (858): View more from California

  Do you think there is vodka in heaven?

  (619): View more from California

  you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..

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