I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
