What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
