it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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