If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize