Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize