Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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