Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
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Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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