You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So. Much. Porn.
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