We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
