it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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