YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
