Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
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I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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