she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
