let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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