Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
