I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize