i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
