also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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