Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize