Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
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