Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
