just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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