Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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