I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
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the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
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in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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