I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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