i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
