Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it glows. i had to have it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
