last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
