me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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