Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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